Alright, so before we begin, let’s get the stereotypes out of the way. Those that live in New Jersey are not all about the gold chain, GTL (gym, tan, and laundry), being in the mob, always being at a diner, or having big hair. While some of that may be true – especially the part about diners – going “down the shore” is big part of our culture that speaks volumes about our beloved state. We may be the most hated state in the US, but New Jersey has a lot to offer that some people may not see because they don’t know how to act in our state.
Most-Hated State in the USA
One thing is for certain, we are particular about our beaches and going to the shore. So if you mess that part of your trip up, it’s not our fault we don’t like you. You just don’t know the unspoken rules of the Jersey Shore. And believe me when I say, we KNOW when you’re not from Jersey. So regardless of how many hours you spend learning about the shore and boardwalk before visiting, just know, we always know where to find the “out-of-staters”.
Yeah, We’re Kinda Serious About Our Shore
This isn’t meant to scare you, it’s a learning experience, so when you visit the Jersey Shore, there’s a special element to the sites, scenes, and places to visit. There are certain things and behavior that is expected of you when you visit our state. After all if you’re going to spend the hours waiting in traffic on the Turnpike or Parkway (yea, we hate them too), you minds well try to behave a little better.
1. Lifeguards & Their Flags
Yea it’s a real thing. When you travel to our beaches and you see flags up in the sand near the lifeguard stand, don’t be stupid. They are there for a reason and the reason is to tell people to only swim in those designated areas. We’re kind enough to give you (pay taxes to employ) lifeguards to save your drowning asses, so don’t be dumb and stay inside the flags when you swim. Yes, we know there are sometimes currents that can take you beyond the flags, so get your ass out of the water and walk back over.
2. “Watch The Tram Car Please”
Anyone that has visited the renown Wildwood Boardwalk knows this sound piercing through a hot July or August night. When you hear the warning signal of the tram car coming down the boardwalk towing around everyone’s lazy ass, get the fuck out of the way. There are clearly marked paths on the boardwalk for the tram cars to pass by, so don’t walk on them regularly.
3. Stay To The Right On The Boardwalk
With the exception of running to grab food or a drink, when you walk on our boardwalks walk on the right side. We know you probably spent hours on the Parkway or Turnpike driving to your Jersey Shore destination, so you know what side of the road you should be on. So it’s the same for the boardwalk. We don’t want really want to keep avoiding you and bumping sweaty shoulders with you as you walk by with your family of 20 people. Stay to the right.
4. Don’t Feed The Seagulls
Ok, so you’re an animal lover, so are we, but don’t feed the seagulls. There’s a reason the word “sea” is in their name. That’s where they get their food, whether it’s crabs, fish, or clams. When you are sitting on the beach don’t sit there and toss out extra potato chips to the birds. They poop. They squawk.They are loud. And they don’t give a fuck about anything. So once you start feeding them they won’t go away all day. So just stop feeding them, their already fat.
5. Don’t Dirty Jersey, Pick Up Your Trash
People already think that Jersey is dirty, which it’s not everywhere, so don’t make it worse for us. We are providing you with a lot of free beaches to hang out on so please clean up after yourself. Some beaches don’t have trash bins so just bring your Wawa plastic bags onto the beach to collect your trash when you leave. How would you like it if we visited your backyard and just left our empty beer bottles and wrappers on your lawn? Yea we didn’t think you’d like that either.
6. Shake Your Blanket & Towel Away From Everyone
This is a big no-no. When you’re ready to leave don’t just pick up your towel and start frantically waving it in the air to get the sand off. No one over the age of ten likes sand in their hair, mouth, eyes, or other various body parts. All you have to do is walk away from everyone around you and calmly shake your blankets to get the excess sand off. Be courtesy to those around you.
7. We Like Music, But Not When We Have To Listen To Yours
Stereos and speakers are common items brought to the shores of Jersey, but again look around you. There may be someone quietly reading nearby with their toes in the sand or taking a afternoon nap on the beach. Don’t be cranking up Lil’ Wayne just because you can. We know the wind and the waves can be noise canceling, but be courteous to those around you. Also just so you know, sometimes it’s ok to shut off the music and just listen to the ocean once and a while.
So welcome to our state of GTL, bagels, and diners. We are happy to have you here, but just be inconsiderate of our backyard, if we have one thing going for us, it’s the Jersey Shore, so don’t fuck it up. Thanks!